Why my website photo shoot was a big deal

MODELLING ‘BEING SEEN’

Truth is, I’ve never really liked having my photo taken, I felt uncomfortable and exposed in front of a lens. I’d also never really stopped to ask myself why that was, but when I did stop I realised it’s because there is a true vulnerability in it, it’s really being seen by another, and that freaked the hell out of me.

For most of my life I have had extremely low self-worth and never really felt comfortable in my own skin. I’d look in the mirror and simply see a laundry list of things that needed to be fixed, there wasn’t really much I did like. Those that know my whole journey know this resulted in me battling with disordered eating, exercise addiction and financial debt (due to the volumes of designer wear I would buy) all in an attempt to fix what I saw in the mirror.

Developing true self-worth, however, is an inside-out game - grasping for things external to yourself won’t shift the emptiness you feel or turn down the volume on the bully in your head. For that to shift you have to begin the process of reconnecting to, and falling in love with, yourself.

And that is what I have done through my own soul journey. I found my own coaches, and healed my relationship with food, with money and then with myself. The relationship with myself is something I still actively work on even to this day, it’s not a linear journey and is something I will continue to grow and care for with the same level .of commitment and devotion that I would a romantic relationship.

So back to the photo shoot and why it was so important. This was my full circle moment and my declaration to the world of “This is me!”.